only you would photoshop your dick
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
