good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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