never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
