dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Success! We fucked roommates!
He shit in the fireplace
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
