I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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