If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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