Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
