Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
