we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We don't watch enough power rangers
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
