You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How's work?
Spinning.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
