Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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