Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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