a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
