Can i not drive my cunt home
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
