i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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