Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
