long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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