oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
