he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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