And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
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Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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