My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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