Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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