Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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