i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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