Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she smelled like a LAN party
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
