dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
