She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize