So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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