so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
