Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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