Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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