Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
