spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
