After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
