whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I am one with the molecules
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize