The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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