Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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