I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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