dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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