I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
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He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I deserve this hangover.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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