why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
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He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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