OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
