at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
