True but thats because hes a fetus.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
