just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
