the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
