Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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