Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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