how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
