toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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