I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
