I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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