he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
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My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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