Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
