thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
