How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
