John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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