i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
