You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize