i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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