What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
