In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
