I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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