my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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