lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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